A literary hard-science-fiction novel by Joshua Szepietowski

Literary hard SF Los Angeles, fifteen years ahead Free digital edition

What It Feels Like to Be You

Fifteen years in the future, neuroscientist Matthew Ashford helps build a machine that lets one person feel another's emotions. As the Empathy Engine leaves the lab and becomes a tool for healing, addiction, diplomacy, and power, he is forced to confront what human connection can and cannot be engineered.

Acts
3
Chapters
18
Emotional Horizon
Hope
Back cover of What It Feels Like to Be You
Front cover of What It Feels Like to Be You

The first thing Matt noticed, once the menus were gone and the first glass had been poured, was that he was happy.

A restrained, intimate, and hopeful novel about empathy, privacy, grief, and chosen family.

The Story

A breakthrough that can heal, expose, console, and ruin.

The Empathy Engine does not read thoughts or replay memories. It transfers raw emotional state: the living pressure of grief, fear, tenderness, joy, shame, and love. That bounded miracle is exactly what makes it beautiful, and exactly what makes it dangerous.

What begins as a scientific triumph and a humanitarian promise becomes something larger and more volatile once it leaves the clinic. Therapy changes. Diplomacy changes. Addiction mutates. Privacy stops feeling private. The question beneath all of it is simple and human: how much of another person should ever be directly accessible?

A Turning Point

“I thought only we buried children.”

At the novel's hinge, grief crosses a geopolitical border and proves that empathy can widen the human imagination without solving the moral work that still has to follow.

Bounded Hard SF

The machine transfers emotion, not thoughts.

The speculative leap stays clean and rigorous. The wonder comes from a plausible device that is extraordinary precisely because it remains limited.

Relational Wonder

Technology is not the destination.

The deepest awe in this story is not the mechanism itself, but the fragile human possibility of being understood without turning intimacy into a commodity.

Uplifting Finish

The novel ends in belonging.

After scandal, grief, and public reckoning, the story lands in self-forgiveness, ethical purpose, and chosen family rather than spectacle or nihilism.

Structure

Three acts, eighteen chapters, one year of widening consequence.

From a celebratory steakhouse dinner in Los Angeles to a quiet final scene in Griffith Park, the novel tracks how a single invention changes public life while forcing its creator to confront the past he never resolved.

Act 1

Act 1 - The Breakthrough Leaves the Lab

6 chapters

  1. Chapter 01 - The Tip
  2. Chapter 02 - Breakfast
  3. Chapter 03 - Happy Birthday
  4. Chapter 04 - I Want This
  5. Chapter 05 - Launch
  6. Chapter 06 - I Thought Only We Buried Children

Act 2

Act 2 - Promise, Temptation, Addiction, and Exposure

8 chapters

  1. Chapter 07 - You Look Good for 44
  2. Chapter 08 - Koreatown
  3. Chapter 09 - The Archive
  4. Chapter 10 - Clinic Days
  5. Chapter 11 - Rachel
  6. Chapter 12 - Access Denied
  7. Chapter 13 - The Human Soul for Sale
  8. Chapter 14 - Shoe-Tying Song

Act 3

Act 3 - Truth, Relinquishment, and Belonging

4 chapters

  1. Chapter 15 - Love
  2. Chapter 16 - Afraid
  3. Chapter 17 - Shame
  4. Chapter 18 - Uncle Matt

Opening Pages

The novel begins in success, with danger already inside the room.

These opening paragraphs set the emotional register: pride touched by dread, beauty shadowed by consequence, and a world that still feels recognizably human even as it tips into something new.

From Chapter 01, “The Tip”

The first thing Matt noticed, once the menus were gone and the first glass had been poured, was that he was happy.

Not relieved. Not vindicated. Happy.

The feeling arrived so cleanly it almost made him laugh.

Shelby had chosen the restaurant, which meant the room looked the way success liked to imagine itself: amber light, dark leather, a long wall of glass looking over Los Angeles. The city below was turning itself on in layers. Headlights threaded through the streets. Hills gathered their houses into constellations. Somewhere beyond what the window could hold, the Pacific lay out in the dark, invisible and still real.

Piyush lifted his napkin, dropped it in his lap, picked up the wine list, put it down, and then looked at Matt with the bright, helpless grin of a man who had accidentally helped alter the terms of reality.

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